What I''ve Come To

  I always wonder, "Why, God, why?"  I can never get the thought that I'm just not good enough.  I struggle with my parents.  I can NEVER please them.  I wonder what God says about this.  I'm in an almost strained inner-relationship with them.  It begins and ends in argument.  Why does God not STOP what's happening?  I've given EVERY ounce of sweat JUST to make this work.  It WAS getting better.  Then, it just stopped, like a train.  Why does God STOP what He STARTS?  I just don't get it.  Do I believe in a God that doesn't care?  I know that's a stupid question, but I wonder.  What's the answer to it?  I've got so many questions that don't have answers.  That's the hard part.  I, to put it simply, don't know what to believe anymore.  I'm beginning to regret my decision for Christ.  Life didn't become harder, it became IMPOSSIBLE to believe almost anything.  Well, now you know what's been on my mind the last few weeks.